


Vorona's Nudes (And Other Things You Shouldn't Send Izaya)

by TeamAlphaQ



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: A Decent Amount Of It, Crack, Dirty Talk, F/F, Fluff and Smut, Humor, I regret all of this, IZAYA IS A LITTLE SHIT, M/M, Nude Photos, Sexting, Shizuo Loves It, Smut, Voyeurism, Wrong number, accidental nudes, handjobs, i need jesus, none of this is serious, prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-26
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:08:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24934261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TeamAlphaQ/pseuds/TeamAlphaQ
Summary: Okay look, getting sent the nudes in the first place wasn't insulting. If anything, it's flattering to get sent naked pictures, even if it is technically a wrong number and Izaya isn't the least bit interested in women.Whatwasinsulting was Shizuo telling him that he couldn't do better.Because he could absolutely take better nudes. Fuck Shizuo for saying otherwise.
Relationships: Heiwajima Shizuo/Orihara Izaya, Vorona/Yagiri Namie
Comments: 9
Kudos: 203





	Vorona's Nudes (And Other Things You Shouldn't Send Izaya)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [falco_c](https://archiveofourown.org/users/falco_c/gifts).



> DAD I DID IT, ARE YOU PROUD OF ME.
> 
> Alright ya'll, I realize this is not what I usually write, but hear me out. What if I _did._
> 
> This is a prompt fill for the peeps back on the Shizaya server I joined. Mostly for Dadmin, who originally proposed the idea that Vorona was taking nudes for Namie but sent them to Izaya by mistake, and of course, not to be outdone, Izaya sends her nudes back.
> 
> This story kind of spiraled from there. I realize I am not fantastic at writing smut but I also enjoyed every fucking second of this thing so. There is that.
> 
> ALSO WE NEED MORE PEOPLE ON THE DISCORD. [Come join us,](https://shizaya-discord.tumblr.com/post/621131475032670209/the-shizaya-discord-server-is-now-ready) Dad is friendly and she doesn't bite. 
> 
> I need to be fed more prompts omm nom
> 
> Enjoy!

“Now consider Shizu-chan, this is highly unfair.”

“Actually,  _ Flea,” _ The way he uttered the nickname sent shivers down Izaya’s spine. “I think this is absolutely fair.”

Hands were on his bare thighs. Belatedly, Izaya realized the true flaw of his plan was not thinking of what was going to happen to him  _ after _ he sent the nudes. “Oh?” he breathed. “And why would that be?”

“Because-” Shizuo  _ drawled _ the word, drawing it out like he was enjoying every second of it. “Vorona’s nude’s aside, I’ve had to fucking  _ watch you _ strip down-” The hands on his thighs moved to his knees before easily parting them, leaving Izaya exposed.  _ “Splay yourself out-” _ One hand slipped lower and Izaya had to stifle a choked sound as calloused fingers brushed against his erection, which apparently hadn’t flagged in the slightest. “Get yourself worked up without me-” Izaya wasn’t sure if he was still breathing, or if his soul had long since vacated his body. “And then send her nudes back, and y’know what?”

Shizuo grinned then, a practically manic expression, one that set Izaya’s entire body on fire. “I think it’s about time I got some revenge.”

Though he would have been ashamed to admit it, Izaya let out a whimper.

How had this happened? Izaya wasn’t entirely sure. He could however directly pinpoint the moment it began.

_ ~One Hour Previously~ _

If he was being honest, the nudes weren’t the insulting part.

Actually, when his phone first went off half-way across the room, Izaya could have cared less.  _ Ah, I should probably look at that… _ And he would, but he wasn’t going to rush it. A quick peek at his computer’s time informed him it was already well past seven, whoever was texting him could wait.

Glancing up from his computer, the slightly tired Informant studied the room, lazily taking the familiar surroundings in. Namie had left a couple of hours ago, having informed Izaya in no uncertain terms that while he might want to work himself to death, she did not. Without her there, everything was remarkably quiet, but for the subtle ticking of the grandfather clock in the corner.

A veritable plume of smoke rose up from the couch, and Izaya smirked to himself. Shizuo had arrived soon after Namie left, as he usually did. Currently, he was relaxing, his vest and bowtie hanging over a chair as he leaned back into the sofa and puffed on a cigarette. If Izaya had been inclined to comment, he would have said the man looked effortlessly attractive.

Usually, his presence meant an instant end to the productive work day, but thankfully, the blond had chosen to be patient and self contained today. Whether this was because he had a lot on his mind, or just not much to say, Izaya had yet to find out. 

Regardless of the cause, the result was a steady stream of cigarette smoke that drifted through the Raven’s high-rise apartment, turning the air a pleasant shade of hazy.

His phone buzzed again, chirping brightly as it did.  _ Another _ text message. Frowning, Izaya cocked an eyebrow.

Someone was impatient.

“Who the hell is bothering you at this time of day,” Shizuo asked gruffly, glaring at the table from behind the hand that held his cigarette.

Stretching, Izaya let out a  _ mrrt _ of amusement. “What, is the protozoan jealous that I’m so popular?”

The phone let out a third chime.

“No, it’s just fucking annoying.”

Languidly, Izaya got to his feet. “If it’s so annoying, why aren’t you breaking my poor phones?”

“Because it’d irritate you,” Shizuo answered, as though this was self explanatory. Disgruntled by the honest response, Izaya stuck out his tongue.

“I’ll have you know that it takes much more than  _ that _ to ruffle me, Shizu-chan, you’re the one with the absurdly short fuse.”

_ Again, _ the device on the table vibrated, letting out its happy little song as it did.

Distracted at last from his playful banter with his Blond, Izaya stepped out from around his desk and lightly padded over to the phone. Noticing which one it was, the man frowned slightly before reaching for it.

_ Why? _

Well, to answer that question, you would have to go back to the day he bought it, when the clerk behind the counter had asked if there was a particular number he wanted attached to the device, and Izaya, the absolute child that he was, started rattling off Namie’s phone number.

When he’d been told, inevitably, that the number he’d requested was already taken, Izaya had simply switched the zero to an eight.

Because, and here was the brilliant part, if people were going to type in an incorrect number, mixing a zero with an eight was one of the most common mistypes. Which meant that whenever people got Namie’s number wrong, and wrong numbers happened more than you’d think, they’d reach him, and he’d get to make his secretary’s life  _ that much more unbearable. _

He’d even made a point of never handing out the number, reserving it specifically for all of the strange, wrong numbers that should have ended up in Namie’s lap.

So it going off now, especially this insistently, meant that  _ someone _ really wanted to reach Namie, and instead, they’d reached him.

_ How delightful. _

Picking up the shiny pink phone, Izaya cocked an eyebrow as it went off for a fifth time.

“Are you going to just stare at it, or are you going to answer it?” At this point, Shizuo’s curiosity had apparently been peaked as well. Glancing up in the beast’s direction, Izaya flipped open the device, a sweet smile on his face.

“Look at you, Shizu-chan, trying to convince me to be a good person. Really, I should leave them on read,  _ just for you.” _

And, without even  _ really _ looking, Izaya selected the message chain and brought them up.

Again, it definitely  _ wasn’t _ the nudes that were insulting.

Blinking several times, nonplussed, Izaya waited patiently for his brain to catch up with his reality, which wasn’t something he often had to do. Usually, it was the other way around. Still, it wasn’t often he opened a text message to find  _ nudes _ waiting for him.

“Ah, well isn’t that interesting,” he hummed.

“What’s interesting?” Shizuo huffed.

Honestly, this wasn’t the time Izaya had received nudes from an unknown number. Actually, you’d be surprised how often it happened. But this was  _ slightly _ different. Because he kind of already knew who the pictures had been intended for. Which, naturally, didn’t stop him from looking.

He was  _ fairly _ certain he’d never seen this woman before.

_ I didn’t realize Namie had changed her tune  _ that _ completely. Perhaps I should give up on the brother jokes. After all, it appears there’s a vast untapped reservoir of jokes I could be making instead. _

Shizuo’s shadow darkened the table Izaya was standing over.

“W- WHO THE HELL IS SENDING YOU-”

Catching the cigarette that went flying out of the blond’s mouth before it could set fire to something, Izaya waved an absent hand as he continued to scroll through the pictures.  _ European probably, that skin tone isn’t Asian in the slightest. _ “Oh don’t get your panties in a twist Shizu-chan, it’s a wrong number.” From who though, that was the question.

“I- IZAYA!” Turning, Izaya was delighted to see a flustered expression on Shizuo’s face. Dropping the cigarette still in his hand into the cold bowl of soup he’d never bothered to pick up from lunch, Izaya smirked as innocently as could be up at his blond idiot.

“Yes, Shizu-chan?”

“Who the hell-”

“We’ve been over this, it’s a wrong number.”

Eyebrows knitting together fiercely as the blush worked the rest of its way over Shizuo’s face, the man demanded, “How the hell do you know it’s a wrong number?”

Dismissively, Izaya went back to scrolling through the pictures. “Oh, I just know.” There were four of them in total. The first two were a  _ tad _ blurry in spots, where the woman had clearly still been moving when her phone camera took the picture, but it sort of added to the aesthetic, really.

She had a good figure, Izaya could stand to give her that. A toned stomach at least, and ample cleavage that seemed to be the focus of the first two pictures. The third moved lower, to an interesting shot of the woman’s thighs parted and spread for the camera. Softly, Izaya let out an “Ah,” as he surveyed it.

The sound that escaped Shizuo was something between horror and fascination.

“What is this the first time you’ve seen a woman naked?” Izaya hummed, deciding to take full advantage of the other’s reactions.

“I-  _ No _ of course not,” Shizuo huffed, though the consternation plastered across his features told a different story. “I looked at adult magazines when I was younger, I just-”

“Just what?” the Raven cooed, shifting his weight before leaning back against Shizuo’s chest, wriggling against him as he did so.

“She looks familiar.”

Izaya stopped wiggling.

Tilting his head back, Izaya gave Shizuo a suspicious look as several unpleasant thoughts filtered through his brain. “Does she now?” he asked, his tone testy despite his best efforts.

“Don’t look at me like that Flea,” Shizuo muttered, giving the side of the Raven’s head a flick that almost sent Izaya toppling over. It was only the blond’s strong arms catching him a second later that kept him from falling. “I’m with you, why would I need anyone else?”

Before Izaya could respond, or even blush at how stupidly  _ sappy _ Shizuo’s words were, the man was already continuing, “But I mean it, I’m getting this weird feeling that I know her… I don’t know, it’s fucking weird.”

“Yes, you’ve stated that it’s weird, Shizu-chan,” Izaya hummed, pulling himself back together.  _ As if Shizuo is actually smart enough to cheat on anyone, let alone me. I don’t know why I’d even entertain the thought for a second. _

Ah, of course, his deep seated trust issues! That must be it.

Distracting himself from his own thoughts, Izaya scrolled down to the last picture. This one was  _ interesting, _ because whoever had taken the picture had been foolish enough to let the lens angle just a bit too far up, leaving the bottom half of the woman’s face exposed, along with a tumble of shoulder-length blond hair.

_ Definitely European, there’s no way  _ that _ hair is dyed. _

Among other things, Izaya considered the irony that both he and his secretary had a thing for blonds. It was almost fitting.

Behind him, Shizuo swore  _ loudly. _

“That’s my ear, you beast,” Izaya complained, rubbing at it with his free hand as he continued to study the picture, taking careful note of the thick red choker that broke up the unblemished skin of the woman’s throat. He didn’t recognize the woman, but what he’d gathered so far narrowed it down, and she  _ was _ trying to reach Namie. Probably.

Of course, it could have been  _ another _ wrong number, but it was  _ so _ much more delightful to simply assume that it had been meant for his taciturn secretary.  _ So this is what she meant when she said she had a life outside of work. My goodness Namie-san, I’d congratulate you, but I have a Shizu-chan, and you don’t see  _ me _ skipping off work early. _

Tunelessly humming, he scrolled down to the final text, this one a message.

**_[Have never taken pictures such as these before, please excuse inevitable ineptitude.]_ **

Hm. Broken Kanji, European features, natural blond hair… So Namie was dating a foreigner, or at the very least a foreigner was trying to get her attention. With a little bit of digging into Namie’s personal life he could probably figure out who it was, though it would be  _ endlessly _ easier to simply trace the number…-

“Why the  _ fuck _ is Vorona sending you nudes?”

Or, he could have Shizuo identify the woman, apparently.

“You know this woman?” Izaya asked, a smirk crawling over his face like an inch-worm.

“I- Yeah, of  _ course _ I fucking know her, I work with her.” Twisting his neck so he could watch Shizuo’s expression, Izaya was gleeful to find an absolutely  _ aghast _ look on the blond’s face. As though he was struggling to process the information, even though it had come out of his mouth in the first place, the man mumbled, “I saw her just today. I- Shit, was she planning to do this?”

“Perhaps,” Izaya conceded, forgetting about the phone for a moment as he planned how best to congratulate Namie on her new girlfriend. Perhaps balloons. Maybe a cake!

Oooh, he could get one of these pictures printed on the cake. He was pretty sure some places did that…

Once again, like he still hadn’t figured it out, Shizuo demanded, “Why on earth is  _ she _ sending  _ you _ nudes? I don’t think she even knows who you  _ are.” _

“Everyone knows who  _ I _ am, Shizu-chan,” Izaya disagreed, patting the blond’s cheek sympathetically, absolutely  _ loving _ the clear way Shizuo’s gears were struggling to turn.

Puzzling over this for a moment, Shizuo finally retorted with, “Well even if she  _ does _ know who you are, why is she sending you naked pictures of herself?”

Izaya released another cat-like purr of laughter. “As I’ve told you a million times before, it was a wrong number, Shizu-chan, she  _ wasn’t _ sending them to me. Keep up.”

“Well then, who the hell did she mean to send them to?”

He still sounded horrified, Izaya had little doubt that this was probably residual shock from seeing a colleague out of the work environment. Of course something like this would fry Shizuo’s brain. It was almost adorable.

No, scratch that, it  _ was _ adorable.

Finally glancing back down at the pictures, Izaya blithely commented, “Well, according to my sources, which are very good because they’re  _ me, _ your colleague meant to send these fascinating pictures to my _ lovely secretary.” _

“Wait, you mean the scary one?” Shizuo questioned, an eyebrow hiking up beyond the messy hair that covered his forehead. Then, as if it was only just now occurring to him, “Hang on, Vorona is  _ gay?” _

“Or at the very least bisexual,” Izaya agreed, nodding along. “Though I must say, at least she has good taste. Namie-san is far from the worst she could do.” In fact, in his opinion, Namie was quite a catch. The surly woman usually only had eyes for the remains of her business, her work, and her brother. If Vorona had managed to get her attention, then she must be quite something.

“I- I just never thought…” Scrubbing at his eyes, Shizuo shook his head before weakly muttering,  _ “I know her.” _

“Amazingly, Shizu-chan, you’re not the only person with an active sex life,” Izaya commented, his mind already turning. This was such a  _ prime _ opportunity, after all. Passing it up would be sacrilegious, probably. There were so many ways he could use this, some of them in the vein of blackmail, and some of them just simply  _ amusing. _

Yes, he was in the mood for a laugh.

“I know I’m not the only one who has sex, Flea, I’m just struggling to imagine  _ her _ having sex,” Shizuo groused. As he spoke, he caught Izaya’s chin in one of his hands and absently tilted the man’s head up and back, exposing his throat. Thoughtlessly, Izaya relaxed back into the hold, pressing himself up against the hard lines of Shizuo’s body.

Staring into ochre eyes, Izaya lifted an eyebrow.

“Shut up Flea.”

“I didn’t say anything.” 

“What are you going to do with the pictures?” Miffed that  _ this _ was what Shizuo had chosen to focus on when Izaya had clearly been offering him something else, the Raven stuck out his bottom lip, as though it was something he actually needed to think about.

“Oh, probably what I’ve done with every other nude someone’s sent me.”

“And that is?”

“Anonymously spread it all over the internet of course,” Izaya responded flippantly. Squirming, the man managed to snake his way out of Shizuo’s arms. “What else would I do, Shizu-chan? Really, it’s like you don’t even know me.”

“Even though it was a wrong number,” Shizuo began, dubious. “You’re just going to throw them everywhere?”

“Naturally,” Izaya confirmed, waltzing over to his laptop, even though he could just as easily do it from the phone. _ Backups, after all, are important, just in case Namie finds out and tries to slow the spread. _ “After all, she _ wanted _ them to be seen. Really, I’m just doing your colleague a favor.”

He expected some moral argument. Something about how Vorona was a friend, that he didn’t have a good reason to do this, or perhaps how it was  _ wrong _ to ruin someone’s life over an honest mistake. Which would have been fine reasons, and Izaya already had several rebuttals for each of them. Including but not limited to;  _ Honest mistakes are a construct created to excuse stupidity, _ and  _ I’m doing it because I can. _

But that wasn’t what came out of Shizuo’s mouth.

Instead, the blond lifted an eyebrow and stated, “You’re just jealous she takes better nudes than you do.”

And see,  _ that _ was the insulting part.

“I’m sorry,  _ what?” _

“You heard me,” Shizuo said stoutly, as though this was  _ honestly _ the only place his train of thought had taken him. “The only reason you’re going to spread those pictures is because you’re jealous that they’re better than what you could take.”

The  _ intelligent _ thing to do would be to ignore Shizuo and continue with his plotted course of action. Because of course the beast didn’t know a thing about taking good pictures, and really,  _ why was Izaya even listening to his opinion in the first place? _ But see, that would imply that Izaya would have thought through the next words that came out of his mouth. Which, quite frankly, he didn’t.

“I take much better nudes than Vorona does.”

Smirking -damn the man for being so attractive when he did something like that- Shizuo easily argued, “Bet you don’t. I’ve never seen them.”

“I-” Izaya shook his head, entirely flabbergasted that Shizuo would even  _ think _ such a thing, let alone say it aloud to his face. “I haven’t had to  _ send _ you nudes, Shizu-chan. You’ve always been within easy reach.”

“So I bet you’re pretty shit at it then, right?” He was  _ taunting _ Izaya, the damned beast was actually playing with him. Offended, not just because his nude-taking ability was being slandered but also because Shiuzo had the audacity to act intelligently, Izaya shook his head once more.

“Actually, Shizu-chan, before you I had many opportunities to take nudes. I assure you my skills are far superior to anything that Vorona could manage.”

“Yeah, you say that,” Shizuo hummed, one of his eyebrows twitching upwards teasingly. “But without proof…”

“Oh I’ll show you proof,” Izaya snapped, peeved beyond the point of rational thought.

Quickly changing directions, the Raven purposefully strode over to Shizuo and caught him by the sleeve of his loose dress shirt. “I will show you  _ so much proof _ that you will be unable to ever again say to my face that I am worse at taking nudes than  _ Vorona.” _

“How exactly are you going to do that, Flea?” Shizuo asked, clearly enjoying himself  _ far too much. _ Without resistance, he allowed Izaya to drag him up the stairs and to the Raven’s bedroom.

_ How am I going to do that, what a stupid question. _ Rolling his eyes, Izaya slammed his bedroom door behind him and pushed Shizuo up against it. Though it was honestly less of  _ him _ moving Shizuo and more of the blond willingly going along with what he wanted. “Obviously, Shizu-chan,” he spat, enunciating every word just in case the idiot decided to purposefully mishear him. “I’m going to take some nudes.”

And then he attacked Shizuo’s lips with his own.

Taken aback for a moment, the other man pulled away for a second before letting out a deep chuckle that shot straight down Izaya’s spine. Gripping the Raven’s hips with strong, warm hands, Shizuo pressed back into the kiss, nibbling at his bottom lip before allowing Izaya to tangle their tongues together.

It was messy, and heated, and  _ exactly _ the sort of thing Izaya needed to put himself in the  _ nude-picture-taking _ mindset.

Allowing Shizuo to pull them closer together, enjoying the friction of their clothing rubbing together, Izaya let out a soft, encouraging moan. Regardless of the situation this was  _ always _ the best way to end a hard day of work. Already he felt his dick hardening between them, reacting to the way Shizuo’s fingers tightened on his narrow hips to the point of bruising. 

In fact, he was so caught up in the moment, he almost missed the next words that came out of the man’s mouth. 

“And molesting me is going to help you take nudes  _ how?” _

_ The gall! _

Indignant, Izaya pulled away. “I’ll have you  _ know, _ Shizu-chan, is the first part of taking any nude photo is actually having something to show the camera, and I always do better with a little encouragement.”

“Isn’t that cheating?” Shizuo had the nerve to ask, a knowing smirk on his face.

Opening his mouth to disagree, Izaya snapped it shut a moment later and took a step back. “Fine. If that’s how you feel about it Shizu-chan, then I suppose I  _ will _ do it myself.” He had a point, Izaya had done this before with far less help in stimulating himself. It was just  _ convenience, _ that was all.

Stepping over to the bed, already working on the belt of his skinny jeans, Izaya muttered, “I expect you to stay  _ right there _ the whole time, after all, I’d hate for you to ruin my concentration. This kind of thing is an art.”

“Sure it is,  _ Izaya.” _ Oh, if he wasn’t trying to prove something, Izaya would have turned around and climbed Shizuo like a  _ tree. _ That darkly amused tone of voice, coupled with that smile  _ absolutely _ had the power to undo the Raven, but he refused to be bested by the likes of the beast.

Frustrated, and already more aroused than he’d expected to be, given the circumstances, Izaya tossed the phone that contained Vorona’s nudes to the bed before removing his belt. “And what do you know about taking nudes, Shizu-chan,” he fired back, struggling for a moment with the zipper of his jeans. 

God, he was already hard. Which was so  _ stupid, _ he’d only gotten a few kisses from Shizuo before being more or less pushed away. Exactly what part of this nonsense was the least bit exciting? It took all he had not to turn to Shizuo to see if the other was in a similar state.

Half of him expected that this whole nude-taking experience wouldn’t last long because  _ surely _ the beast was going to jump him before long, but the rest of Izaya was determined. He’d show Shizuo. He’d take some perfect nudes, release them to the internet at the same time as Vorona’s and then the world at large could be the judge of who was better at this whole thing.

“I’ve never taken nudes,” Shizuo answered, completely candid.

“Then who are you to doubt my experience in this field?” Removing his jeans, Izaya eyed his tented boxers before decidedly leaving them on. He could get rid of them later. Already, he’d decided that four pictures was a good number for this. Any more would technically give him an unfair advantage. Still, it would give him plenty of room to make something decent.

“Alright then,” Shizuo rumbled, still sounding entirely too entertained. “Tell me what  _ you _ can do differently from Vorona that’ll make your pictures special.”

Huffing, Izaya glared at him before pulling off his shirt, leaving himself mostly exposed. “Vorona’s pictures were amature at best. Yes they’re good quality, but you can tell from them that she’s never done it before. In fact, it’s almost painfully obvious.”

As though he was  _ trying _ to get under Izaya’s skin, Shizuo asked, “Aren’t some people into that?”

Izaya shot him a scathing look.

“I said some people, calm down Flea. I could care less about her pictures,” Shizuo assured him flippantly. Which was all fine and dandy for  _ him _ to say, he wasn’t the one semi-naked on a bed trying to figure out lighting.

_ “Some _ people enjoy that sort of thing,” Izaya agreed at last, deciding that with the blinds closed and both of his bedside lamps on, he could even out the lighting if he just… “Turn off the overhead light for me, Shizu-chan.”

“Do it yourself,” Shizuo shot back.

“You’re closer,” Izaya purred, lowering his lashes in what was probably meant to be a playful expression but really just came off as a mild threat. “Be a dear.”

Rolling his eyes, Shizuo did as he was told.

“As I was  _ saying,” _ Izaya continued, as he brought up the camera function on the phone and began fiddling with it. “Amature nudes are nice and all, but have you considered how much better well done shots can look? I can make my pictures seem inexperienced, while still crafting each shot to be as engaging and tantalizing as possible.”

Leaning back against the pillows of his bed for a moment, Izaya considered his options before deciding on a ten second delay. “Her pictures are head on and blatant, absolutely no interest to the shots. Sure she’s showing skin, but you just see it all at once, there’s nothing that makes you keep looking.”

_ Hmm, probably one of my chest, one with the boxers on, one with the boxers off, and then one from behind...  _

“How are you going to make the pictures more interesting?” Shizuo asked skeptically, watching as Izaya adjusted the placement of his side table lamps before carefully propping the phone up. He was fairly confident he could get this one first try. It wouldn’t be terribly hard.

“Clearly, you know nothing of establishing shots, Shizu-chan,” Izaya chided, trying to decide on an expression before deciding that he was going to crop his face out of them anyway and it didn’t matter. “I’m trying to tell a story. With my body. More or less.” He clicked the button and leaned back on his hand, using the other one to trail teasingly down bare flesh.

“You’re certainly telling something.” Readying a retort, Izaya turned to face Shizuo only to feel his mouth go dry.

Shizuo’s eyes were practically  _ glowing _ in this light, and they were watching Izaya with a consuming hunger that took his breath away. There was still a smirk curling his lips, a familiar one, from the time when they used to have battles that raged across Ikebukuro. Izaya had almost forgotten how unbelievably  _ hot _ it was. And if that wasn’t enough, when his eyes trailed lower, he found a very prominent erection straining the Blond’s slacks.

Growing unmercifully hard in his boxers, which was saying something considering the fact he was already relatively aroused, Izaya had to bite his lip to hold back the sound that threatened to escape him. It was all he could do to keep still while his phone clicked the picture.

Clearing his throat, Izaya grabbed for his phone, before he had a chance to say something stupid. Thankfully, the picture had turned out perfectly. The lighting was excellent, he wasn’t going to have to crop this one, and  _ oh, turning his head had really made his neck look good. _ Also, the black comforter under him went a long way to adding to the mood.

“You see, Shizu-chan,” Izaya said, once he was sure he had control of his voice. “Vorona didn’t take enough time with her pictures. All of them looked the same. Just her front and center.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be the focus of the picture if you’re taking a nude?” Shizuo rumbled.  _ Oh fuck he rumbled. _ Izaya usually loved when Shizuo’s voice got husky but right now, it wasn’t doing him any favors. While he was definitely committed to taking the perfect nudes, he didn’t need to be leaving any stains on his boxers in the process.

Before you asked,  _ no _ he  _ wasn’t _ getting off on Shizuo watching him. That was ridiculous.

The very notion.

Attempting a few poses, Izaya finally settled on a variation of what he’d done before, with his feet tucked up under him and his knees spread, a little wider this time, to continue the story, of course. And he definitely  _ didn’t _ look at Shizuo because that wasn’t helping his frame of mind in the slightest.

“Obviously I’m still the focus of the pictures, Shizu-chan,” he informed the blond, fiddling with the angle until it was  _ just so. _ “But you want to draw the eye to specific points of the picture, and you want to do it naturally.”

“Sure.”

“Have you  _ never _ heard of the rule of thirds?”

“The rule of fucking what now?”

Letting out a scoff, Izaya set the timer and leaned back, making sure to prominently display the tent in the front of his boxers. Even though this was  _ supposed _ to be him proving to Shizuo that he was better at this than Vorona, somehow, Izaya felt like he was only torturing himself. Quickly, he dismissed the thought, along with all the other ones he’d had in the past ten minutes.

Leaning to the side a little, to show off the stretch of ivory skin, Izaya lightly trailed his fingers over his thighs, before freezing as the camera clicked. 

“You sure you aren’t ready to just admit Vorona did this better and move on?” Shizuo asked, as if this were some sort of bet and Izaya was losing, instead of winning as he  _ clearly _ was.

Swallowing his cry of indignation, Izaya turned his nose up and hummed, “You’re only saying that because you can’t wait to get your hands on me.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Izaya,” Shizuo responded lazily, tipping his head back and passing his tongue over his teeth, like a predator. “I have a plenty good view from here.”

His first instinct was to flush, deeply. Heat crawled down his neck and over his chest, turning his skin a rosy color in the process. Damn the beast for being so unnecessarily taunting. Usually Izaya was completely in control of situations like this, took pride in the fact, actually, but right now, he felt like he was struggling to keep up with Shizuo and he wanted to say it was unpleasant. But that would be ignoring how exhilarating the whole process was.

An idea occurring to him, Izaya smirked and gave Shizuo a heated look of his own. “Is that so? Are you sure you don’t want to get closer?” As he spoke, the Raven slowly began peeling off his boxers, making a show of pulling them down over creamy thighs. The waistband caught on the tip of his erection and he didn’t bother holding back the moan that escaped him as his cock slipped free and lightly smacked back against his abdomen.

“I think you’re the one who wants me closer,” Shizuo had the nerve to respond with.

_ Monster, _ Izaya thought, frustrated and yet far too turned on at this point to get properly vexed.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Shizu-chan,” Izaya breathed, his voice trembling ever so slightly. “I am perfectly happy taking my nudes over here without you.”

“Oh, you’re definitely enjoying something.”

Deigning not to grace  _ that _ statement with a response, Izaya turned back to the task at hand, hoping that Shizuo dropped dead at some point in the near future to make up for the humiliation crawling its way up his throat.

Just to be rude, he pushed his boxers down the remainder of the way, before kicking them pointedly as Shizuo. They landed at the man’s feet. All Shizuo did was lift an eyebrow.

Determined to get some kind of reaction, Izaya threw his head back and said, “The only thing  _ I’m _ enjoying is being right.”

“Right about  _ what?” _ Izaya felt his cock twitch at that tone.

Giving into it, just a bit, he lazily stroked himself, delicately fluttering soft fingers over his sensitive flesh. Letting a breathy sound escape his throat, Izaya replied, “Right about being better at taking nudes.”

Lifting the other eyebrow, Shizuo gave a practically maniacal grin. “I don’t see you taking pictures right now, Flea.”

Mouth actually falling open in indignation, Izaya struggled to come up with a response, found nothing, and swiftly turned back to the phone that still rested against his pillows. “Shut up Shizu-chan,” he pushed out through gritted teeth, fighting back the flush that had overtaken his entire body at this point.  _ I am going to kill him someday. _

Snatching up the device, Izaya nibbled on his bottom lip as he considered the third picture. This actually wasn’t too hard. He’d probably mirror Vorona’s take on it, with, of course, a few of his own touches. Already settled on this course of action and  _ determined _ to show Shizuo that the only reason he was doing any of this was to prove a point, Izaya quickly set the phone up once more.

Leaning back and spreading his thighs, Izaya let his fingers ghost over his shaft for a moment before humming low in his throat and deciding against it. Instead he simply braced himself against the bed, lifted his free hand to his collarbone, and froze, letting the camera do its work.

“See,” he breathed, grabbing for the phone and smirking when he saw that, indeed, the picture had turned out perfectly. “By keeping my body to the side third of the frame, I created more intrigue, without actually changing the amount of skin I’m showing.”

Shizuo didn’t respond. Izaya took this as a win, and decidedly  _ didn’t _ glance over in the other’s direction, knowing it would doubtless leave him unbalanced once more.

The last picture was almost too easy. Propping the camera up a bit higher, Izaya turned his back to it before arching his spine, lifting his ass in the air and spreading his legs  _ just so. _ It was an inviting pose, to say the least, and he knew from experience how well it worked.

As he posed, Izaya breathed, “And this completes the four pictures neatly, while at the same time making the viewer want more.”

The picture took.

“As you can see, Shizu-chan, I know what I’m doing.”

Crawling over the sheets, the state his body was in momentarily forgotten, Izaya gleefully reviewed the pictures. They were perfect, some of his best if he did say so himself. The last one especially was flawless, his shoulders and back sloping in such an enticing way.  _ I really outdid myself. _ Anyone with eyes would be able to see that his pictures were far superior to Vorona’s.

Best of all, he’d managed to miss his face every time. The only thing that might give anything away was the wisps of raven hair that had escaped his notice initially. Thankfully, there were millions of people with the same hair, so he didn’t worry much. Vorona, on the other hand, wouldn’t be so lucky. With half of her face visible in the last picture, she was bound to get recognized eventually.

Oh yes, Namie was  _ definitely _ going to try and have him killed for this. But that didn’t make it any less worth it.

Now, to send them  _ everywhere. _

Thankfully, he’d done this before, and so it wasn’t hard to gather up Vorona’s and his own nudes into a neat little packet and begin disseminating them. Of course, it would have been easier over his laptop, but Izaya was  _ very _ good at this.

“And now, to send them to Vorona~” he trilled, childish glee filling him. “Ah, that’ll teach her not to send nudes without confirming whether she has the right number or not.”

Under the four images, sent in order  _ naturally, _ Izaya included a message of his own.

_ [I’ll be sure to let Namie-san know how excited for her you are ~☆] _

Smirking, satisfied with himself, Izaya tossed the phone to his side table.

Which was exactly the point where he found himself getting pinned to the bed.

Now, perhaps he should have seen this coming. After all, what had he  _ expected _ to happen when he dragged Shizuo up here. Certainly not have an encouraging audience. But Izaya had been distracted, and well, he definitely wasn’t distracted any longer.

“Shizu-chan-” the name came out as a gasp as lips and teeth attacked his bared throat, sending a shiver through his body. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“What does it look like I’m doing, Izaya?”

Which brings things back to the present.

Okay, retrospectively, maybe Izaya could see where he’d gone wrong.

“Revenge, Shizu-chan?” he managed, struggling to keep himself coherent, even though it was probably a lost cause at this point. All of the tension in the room was clouding his head, making it nigh impossible to string two thoughts together. “I can hardly imagine what you’d need to get revenge for.”

“I’m pretty sure my list was clear enough.” Then Shizuo roughly palmed him and Izaya had to clamp down on his lip to prevent himself from humiliating himself completely with a loud moan. “Are you done trying to prove your point  _ now.” _

“Considering I’ve been  _ successful,” _ Izaya panted, managing a smirk despite the situation. “I’d say so.” His reward for the cheeky comment was being pushed back onto the comforter. Shizuo wasn’t being gentle, but if he was being honest, he probably did deserve it.

So he didn’t fight it when his wrists were caught in a hold above his head and Shizuo attacked his mouth, belying just how worked up Izaya’s whole show had gotten him.  _ He’s just like a wild beast, _ the Raven thought deliriously, curling his fingers and arching up against the other man shamelessly.  _ God I love it. _ The fabric of Shiuzo’s slacks caught on his sensitive flesh, and another whimper escaped him.

“What was that Flea?” Shizuo taunted, as though he wasn’t equally as hard. “I thought you were fine with me staying across the room.”

“Oh, are you still hung up about that?” Izaya panted, wriggling under the blond in an attempt to convince him to lose some of the clothing. “You were the one who said you helping w-  _ hh aaa oh god.” _ He gave up on trying to talk as Shizuo’s free hand closed over his erection and pumped it hard.

Keening into the man’s ear, Izaya pressed himself further into the touch, hardly caring that he was acting desperate. It felt  _ beyond _ good. After having spent so long denying himself, finally giving in left his head spinning. Every pass of the man’s palm over the head of his dick had him seeing stars, and the teeth at his throat and collar certainly weren’t helping.

“You talk too much.” The words rumbled beside his ear, and Izaya shuddered hard, an undignified sound escaping from between his lips. “Do you always narrate what you’re doing when you take nudes.”

“I- I’ll have you kn-nn  _ nnn~” _ Whatever quippy comeback he’d been trying to make fell apart as Shizuo’s blunt fingernails scraped along the vein that ran along his shaft.

“I bet you do,” the blond continued, seemingly enjoying this far too much. “I bet you talk to yourself like an idiot, the whole fucking time.”

Izaya wanted to refute the point, he very  _ rarely _ talked to himself, but he was having trouble. His vision was already swimming, and he could still feel Shizuo’s hard length pressing up against the inside of his thigh. It was only through sheer willpower and physically clamping down on his tongue that he kept himself from begging outright.

Granted, it wouldn’t be the first time he was reduced to pleading for what he wanted, but Izaya refused to give Shizuo the satisfaction, not when this whole thing had been his fault in the first place.

As precum began to leak from the tip of his erection, Shizuo let out a practically evil laugh. “You were getting off on me watching, weren’t you? I knew you liked being the center of attention, but I didn’t think it was that literal.”

If Shizuo kept up like this, Izaya was going to come, and he wasn’t going to even feel guilty about it.

“I bet it excites you to think about random people on the internet staring at your body, doesn’t it,  _ I-za-ya.” _ Shizuo’s voice was bringing him closer and closer to the edge. Straining against the hand on his wrists as though he was ever going to be able to break from that hold, Izaya whimpered and rutted up into the hand on his dick. “This wasn’t even to prove you could take better pictures, you just like this sort of thing.”

“Sh-Shut up Shizu-chan,” Izaya forced out, his eyes rolling towards the ceiling as his whole body began to tense up.

Seeming to sense this, Shizuo suddenly backed off. Stunned by the sudden lack of contact, Izaya whined and wiggled over the bed, arching uselessly into thin air as he struggled to focus on the man still hovering over him. “What the hell are you doing Shizu-”

“I’m making sure you aren’t the only one who has fun.”

Then he was being flipped over and honestly? Izaya didn’t have enough brain cells working to complain or argue. Especially not when Shizuo’s hands kneaded the twin globes of his ass before lifting it into the air, moving Izaya’s body like it weighed nothing. 

“You look good like this,” Shizuo commented, spreading Izaya’s asscheeks, the grin in his voice immediately apparent.  _ “On your knees for me.” _ A finger stroked over his puckered hole, and the Raven shuddered, unable to stop the breathy moan from pushing its way past his lips.

“I- _ hah-  _ I wasn’t doing it for you earlier,” Izaya protested, hands scrabbling at the sheets as hot breath ghosted over the small of his back. At this rate, Shizuo was going to drive him crazy, and he was sort of hoping to escape this situation with as much of his pride intact as possible.

“You’re doing it for me now.”

Before Izaya could argue, a hot tongue swiped over his entrance. Shivering at the sensation, he pressed his face into the bed. Whatever semblance of control he’d had over his voice vanished as Shizuo continued to work over him, using a combination of his tongue and fingers to work him open. Usually Izaya would have complained that something like this was  _ dirty _ but considering he’d just spread naked photos of himself over the internet, he probably didn’t have any room to judge.

Whatever the blond was doing, it was taking Izaya apart. Every stroke of the man’s tongue had him keening, toes curling against the pleasure shooting through him. It was all he could do not to thrust back onto him and smother Shizuo.

“You know, for someone who always smells like shit, you actually taste pretty good,” Shizuo hummed, the words fluttering against damp skin. Izaya’s breath caught in his throat. 

Pushing his ass further into the air, seaking the wet heat of Shizuo’s mouth, Izaya found himself begging, “Ah- please Shizu- Shizu-chan I need-”

“What was that, Flea, I couldn’t hear you,” Shizuo taunted, exchanging his mouth for simply his fingers, which he dragged through the saliva that dribbled down the man’s crack. “You might have to repeat yourself.”

_ “I need you, Sh-shizu-” _ Izaya desperately pleaded, biting his lip so hard he tasted blood. “Please I w- want you.”

“You only had to ask.”

Izaya honestly thought he was going to pass out at the sound of Shizuo unzipping his slacks.  _ Oh god, finally. _ A moment later, he was rewarded with the press of Shizuo’s cock against his ass. Moaning unabashedly, the Raven pressed back against it, reveling in the sound of the beast rumbling with approval.

“Fuck,” Shizuo muttered, his tone almost reverent. “You look so good like this.” Feeling his face heating up at the praise, Izaya pushed his face back into the sheets. How dare the man go from filthy talk to something else so quickly.

Needing to bury his embarrassment, Izaya found his voice and heatedly demanded, “Are you going to just stare at me all day, Shizu-chan, or are you going to do something?”

For better or for worse, Shizuo chose the latter.

“You’re so damn impatient,” he growled, pressing up against Izaya’s wet entrance.

“Only for you,” Izaya panted cheekily in return, before purposefully thrusting backwards against Shizuo.

As Shizuo’s dick passed the first ring of muscles, Izaya groaned low in his throat. Just like always it stung, the stretch far more than he was entirely prepared for, but at the same time he relished the small bit of pain, and made encouraging noises as Shizuo pushed in further. He wanted to ask Shizuo if he was better at  _ this _ than Vorona was, but a shred of common sense kept him from doing so.

He wanted to be fucked, not be thrown through a wall.

And fuck him Shizuo did. The moment the man was fully seated within Izaya’s ass, he pulled back before thrusting forward,  _ hard. _ Clutching at the sheets, a filthy sound escaping from his throat, Izaya threw his head back till he could see Shizuo’s face through raven hair and goaded, “Come on, is that all?”

“Careful,” Shizuo warned, a grin crossing his face as fingers dug into Izaya’s hips. “Or I just might break you.”

“I dare you to try,” Izaya threw back, only to have his laugh ripped from his throat as Shizuo began to move.

Hell, he never got tired of this.

Shizuo was ruthless, his brute strength coming out in his movements despite what were no doubt his best efforts to the contrary. Izaya felt his whole body shuddering helplessly as he was pounded into, the other’s cock abusing every sensitive place within him. After a few seconds he felt his knees begin to give way beneath him, only for Shizuo to hold him up, the hands on his hips tightening to the point of bruising.

Leaning over him, Shizuo dragged his lips over Izaya’s back, his teeth scraping over the sensitive line of his spine. Pushing back against him as best as he could, Izaya moaned into his sheets, his fingers scrambling for purchase as he did. Every thrust had him seeing stars, gasping on Shizuo’s name and forgetting how to breathe.

It was all too much, and yet he wanted more. He  _ always _ wanted more. Izaya was greedy like that. Not that Shizuo was complaining. The man seemed more than willing to give him exactly what the Raven wanted.

Skin slapping against skin filled the space in between Izaya’s gasping breaths. One of Shizuo’s hands left the man’s hip, and a moment later his hand was back on Izaya’s neglected erection. Choking on a moan, the Raven turned his head so he could watch Shizuo as he moved. When Shizuo caught his eyes, Izaya managed a messy smirk.

It was a stupid time to think this, but Izaya loved this man.

After hovering on the edge of climax for so long it didn’t take much to finally tip the Raven over the edge. As a particularly sharp thrust hit his prostate dead on, Izaya let out a cry of,  _ “Sh-Shizuo~” _ before letting himself go, spurting over Shizuo’s fist and clenching around the man’s dick as he did so. His vision went almost white for a moment as he rode out the sensation, it’s power only intensified by the man still pounding into him.

A moment later, Shizuo followed him, coming with a stuttered curse mixed with Izaya’s name. Shuddering at the feeling of being filled like this, Izaya let out a whine, his body going boneless as whatever was still holding him up finally gave out.

Thankfully, Shizuo caught him, and had the decency not to simply collapse on the limp Raven. Instead, the blond fell to the bed beside him, a contented rumble coming from somewhere deep in his chest as he did. Allowing himself to be rolled over, Izaya let out a breathless laugh, one that sounded absolutely wrecked coming from his abused throat. 

“Oh Shizu-chan,” he breathed, crimson eyes nothing more than slits as he observed the man beside him. “If I had known you were going to react like that, I would have sent you nudes ages ago.”

“Careful Flea,” Shizuo warned, though he sounded more indulgent than anything. “I still haven’t decided whether or not to throw you out of a window for sending nudes to Vorona.”

“Oh  _ that little thing,” _ Izaya hummed, as if they were talking about the weather. “It was only tit for tat. She sent me nudes, I just returned the favor. Really, she should be thankful that I-”

His words were cut short by Shizuo’s mouth claiming his. Unlike earlier, however, this kiss was gentle, and Izaya delightedly fell into it, reveling in the satiated way Shizuo pulled him closer and stroked calloused fingers through his hair.

“You’re a shit.”

“You like it.”

Shizuo snorted.

“Maybe a little.”

Izaya smiled, contented. Whatever the fallout with Namie was going to be tomorrow, this? This made it all worth it.

**Author's Note:**

> FUCKING DID IT.
> 
> Alright, I can die now, right? 
> 
> Emi if you're reading this, I'm not your alt, I'll yeet the whole cornfield at you.


End file.
